What Is This Clean Coal Donald Trump Talks About?

Mythical clean coal

Yesterday, instead of holding a press conference as Presidents Elect ordinarily do, Donald Trump issued a short video about his political agenda. A video allowed Trump to evade questions from well-informed journalists, so Americans have more questions than clear ideas about Trump’s plans today.

Prominent among Americans’ questions is this: What does Donald Trump mean by “clean coal”? Trump promised in his video to spend taxpayers’ money promoting the burning of clean coal, but there seems to be no consensus about what clean coal is supposed to be, or whether it is even possible.

The idea Of clean coal is an old one, devised several presidential terms ago, back when the Millenials were still in diapers. In actuality, after years and years of people talking about it, clean coal still does not exist.

There are two reasons no one has been able to implement clean coal technology in reality:

1. Burning coal is an inherently unclean and unsustainable process. What clean coal technology will do, theoretically, is merely to change where the pollution from burning coal goes, placing it underground in vast caverns of filth rather than sending it spewing up into the sky.

2. The technology that would be required to implement clean coal is extremely expensive, and the only benefit of burning coal instead of using other, more naturally clean sources of energy is that coal is cheap. Nobody has been able to invent clean coal technology that can actually be implemented, because the every process that has been proposed for making clean coal also makes coal outrageously expensive to consumers.

So, when Donald Trump proposes that he will provide cheap, clean energy to the United States by spending taxpayers’ money on clean coal programs, he is proposing to waste vast resources on programs that cannot possibly be implemented.

If Donald Trump had held a press conference instead of simply sending out a short YouTube video from his luxury suite in Manhattan, journalists would have had the opportunity to ask serious questions about his clean coal proposals. Instead, Donald Trump’s clean coal programs simply hang implausibly in the air, like a dragon, a fairy, or some other mythical creature.